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Sample Funeral/Memorial

 

Funeral Ceremony 

 

Opening Words

“Look to this day! For it is life, the very life of life. In its brief course lie all the verities and realities of your existence:The Bliss of growth; the glory of action; the splendor of beauty; for yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision; But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope.Look well, therefore, to this day.”

Many centuries ago, a man named Kalidasa said those words that emphasize the importance of each and every day and what we make of it.This is such a day and we must make the most of it.

We gather here, caught on that cusp between the majesty of life and the mysteries of death.It is a balance we face every day, in some way or form. It was written that there is a time for every purpose under heaven, a time to be born and a time to die. Another writing says that it is appointed to man once to die, and then be judged. Perhaps it should say that it is appointed to men and women once to live.That is our challenge, to wring out of life it fullest measure of happiness, while accepting the finite nature of our mortal existence.

Rememberance of [Deceased]‘s Life

[Deceased] was a friend of my wife Marilyn and I never had the pleasure of meeting her, but Marilyn has told me a lot about her.

This ceremony is a rite of passage.We celebrate this life, this beautiful life, this mysterious life, this precious life that was [Deceased], this woman who loved family, home, work, and play; this honest, hard-working woman who gave no cause for dislike and every reason for admiration.Yes, it was appointed for [Deceased] once to live. This she did, and did graciously.She squeezed out of life the happiness that comes from giving and loving. Not with any pretension or selfish goal, but perhaps understanding that happiness does not come from getting, but from giving. There is no greater lesson than we can teach our children than that.

[Share brief biographical and/or personal account of the person's life.]

Moment of Silence and Shared Rememberances

[Pause, if anyone wishes to speak.]

May we join in a moment of mindfulness:”We clasp the hands of those that have gone before us, and the hands of those who come after us.We enter the circle of each other’s arms, and the larger circle of friends whose hands are joined as if in a dance; and the larger circle of all people, moving in and out of life, who move also in a dance, to a music so quiet we only hear it in fragments.” Amen (Wendell Berry, adapted)

A Letter From [Deceased]

With a seeming premonition of her passing, [Deceased] wrote the words she wanted to be remembered by.She titled it “My Final Say.”

[If the deceased had final wishes to share, present them now.]

Closing

Yes, we have gathered to celebrate [Deceased]‘s life. But even as this ceremony is about[Deceased], it is not for her, it is for you.It is your celebration, your acknowledgement of her among yourselves, your bow to her graciousness.

A life is a pinpoint where the universe convenes in each of us, then radiates back out to the stars through those we touch.

This ceremony calls us to remember our roots and our experiences. We all have different paths to walk, though they all lead to one place.It is the path that is important, not the end of the path, nor its beginning. Nor is it who we are born as, or what circumstances we find ourselves in.It is how we address our lives, how we spend the capital of “Self.”

Yes, it was appointed to [Deceased] once to live.We now declare her life a success, her life complete, her work done.May we dedicate ourselves to spend our measure of love as she did, before the time comes when we cannot understand how to do it.

Native American Blessing

I would like to close my remarks with a blessing from a Native American tradition:

“Hold onto what is good,

Even if it is only a handful of earth.

Hold onto what you believe,

Even if it is a tree which stands by itself.

Hold onto what you must do,

Even if it is a long way from here.

Hold onto Life,

Even when it is easier letting go.

Hold onto my hand,

Even when I have gone away from you.”

Blessed Be, and Amen.

The Departure

This service is ended, but the true service has yet to begin.I now invite everybody to obey [Deceased]‘s demand that you have a party, and at that party, to remember her the way she wanted, with laughter.